Dear Sir and/or Madam,

Greetings! I am the Prince of the Internet. It has come to my attention that all of your personal information has fallen into the wrong hands. Do not be alarmed though, I can quickly remedy this problem. You need only send the following information to

  • Full Name
  • Date of Birth
  • Mother’s Maiden Name
  • The name of your favorite pet
  • Address & Phone Number
  • P.O. Box (please include a penciled outline of the postal key so that we may verify stolen copies)
  • Social Security Number
  • Any uncashed Social Security cheques (we will return them at no cost to you)
  • Bank Account Number (and Routing Number, please. I will not be able to deposit my deceased father’s fortune into your bank account without the Routing Number)
  • 4-digit PIN
  • 5-digit PIN
  • 8-digit PIN
  • Go ahead and send us all the PINs you have
  • Online banking username/password
  • iTunes username/password
  • Webkinz username/password
  • Any locker combinations and the location of your secret diary
  • The details of where you were last night and who that girl was you were talking to

Please expedite this information as quickly as possible, before a nefarious web-pirate takes control of your identity and ruins your life.

Warmest Regards,

Njalawa Khoszvenya

Prince of the Internet


Lincoln is the associate director of design at 352. With 17 years experience at the company, Lincoln has worked with some of the agency's top clients.